:+: Let the Light Shine :+:

Hollywood

2010-11-15T21:49:00.000-08:00

You blow me away

2010-11-10T08:48:00.000-08:00

“Last Night” Free Download

2010-11-03T23:18:00.000-07:00

“Last Night” Free Download

This is truly incredible music. I had the opportunity this summer to volunteer at Rock Ridge Canyon for approximately 5 weeks. During the last week I was there the Peak radio station was hosting a contest for the top 20 bands in BC, called the Peak Performance Project. It was like a mini boot camp for musicians. I was working in the bakery at the time, but I had the chance to watch the bands preform every night. In our free time we had the opportunity to get to know some of the artists and hang out with them.

These songs were created by the artists as part of an assignment at "band camp". They were given the title/topic "Last Night" and asked to come up with a song and collaborate with other artists. My friends and I got to hear these songs the first time they were ever played for an audience. They did an incredible job! Check them out and get your free downloads!

inspired by "Freedom Writters"

2010-05-31T02:56:00.000-07:00

We think we have it bad
We think we have something to cry about
Our fight is nothing
Compared to the ones
Who WIN
Just by surviving another day

We beat ourselves up
If we are not skinny enough
Not pretty enough
Not smart enough

They are happy
If they have something to eat
Anything to wear
Or somewhere to sleep at night

These things never even cross our minds
We have it so good
Their troubles don't even exist to us

But times are changing
Soon we will be the ones
Who are fighitng for our rights

Soon we will be the ones siting at the back of the bus
Maybe then we will know
What its like to feel pain

The real pain
Of those who have a war to fight
Not a war to create

Maybe then we will learn to be strong
And realize what we had

Does it really have to come to that?
Can we just learn now?
Before its too late
We are all people
We all deserve to live and have life.

is pain created from writing? or does writing only express it?

2010-05-31T02:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I find myself writing,
Just to fill the emptiness,
Or make sense
Of internal chaos

It has become a whole new world
An escape from reality
Or a way to create a new one

Anything is possible
Fate is dictated
By ink in a feeble hand

Such power to create stories
Relive dreams and nightmares

More often than not
I find myself writing
And I don't know why
Its become a way to dissociate
Which often backfires

I write about feelings
That have been long forgotten
Repressed and neglected

Its a release
Of things I never knew needed releasing
Its an expression of emotions
Left to be discovered
Yet to be named
But felt for centuries.

Smell the rain

2010-05-31T02:30:00.000-07:00

I've come to a place
Where I am learning
Not to lean on others
To accept their limitations
And look elsewhere
Look within.

I'm learning to find things
That are hidden in this world
I can finally
Smell the rain
I can live without this pain.

You may not care
But I won't dare
To let you drag me down

Its such a tragedy
You've gone so far
To think you were different
That you could really make a stand

But you only crumble
When it comes time to fight
You give in
Just because it feels so right

Does it feel good?
To throw away everything
That was once important?

Does it feel right?
To know you're just that girl?

I've accepted your limitations
I'm looking elsewhere

Maybe when you can cut the act
And look me in the eyes
You will see something
Farther than the end of your toes

Maybe one day
You will learn
To smell the rain
And find the hidden things
In this world
That bring true joy
The things that can never come from a boy.

Never Forget

2010-04-08T22:36:00.000-07:00

Your silence is so deafening
Everyday I want to talk to you
But I am reminded of my effect on you
How could love be such a cruel thing?

It’s not fair for you to be so far
It kills me when I remember
We are not together anymore,

And some day soon
I’ll see someone else in your arms
And I’ll have to be okay with it

But the truth is
I’ll never be okay with it.

Why couldn’t things be the way they once were?
When I was in your arms
You would gently kiss my head
And I knew everything would be okay.

But now I’m haunted by memories of you
And each day they are fading,

I can’t remember the scent of your cologne
I can’t remember the taste of your kiss
I can’t remember the feeling of your hand in mine
But I can never forget the way you made me feel

I can never forget your tear filled eyes
I can never forget the day it ended
I can never forget the hours of crying
But hopefully one day I’ll forget the pain
And never regret the love we had.

New day

2010-03-30T23:26:00.000-07:00

Today is a new day.
A day of new beginnings,
A day of separation,
Separation for the past
And separation from you

I’m letting go of the holds you had on me
I’m letting go of you
There’s a new boy in my heart
No more room for you

Today is a new day
A day of fear
A day of anxiety
Anxiety and fear of opening up
You’ve found the crack
Into my soul
And that terrifies me.

Today is a new day
A day of hope
A day of excitement
Hope for a future
A future of excitement
Holding promise of a better life

Today is a new day
A day you asked me to be yours
A day I became yours
It’s a promise of a broken heart?
It’s a promise of a day in white?

Under lock and key...

2010-03-30T23:08:00.000-07:00

Why is it easier
To be numb?

Why is it easier
To push you away?

Why is it easier
To put up walls?

I’m afraid
Of you
Of love
Of hurting.

I may be numb,
But I can still feel your pain.
You’re so far away
But I can feel you.

There may be a wall separating us.
But I still watch you through the cracks
The cracks are a sliver of hope,
Maybe an inner weakness?

I don’t deceive you.
There is a key somewhere
That will unlock
This guarded heart

You’re not the first to look for it,
You’re not the first to try your luck
Many before have tried their key,
Only to watch it rust
In their pathetic hands

There is only one key
There is only one way to break the walls
There is only one way to make me feel again

But there are,
So many questions,
And far too few answers.

So I’m left
Numb,
Scared,
And hiding,
But at least I’m safe?

Is there anything left to love?

2010-03-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

A flower only has so many petals,
Every time one more is taken,
I can’t help but wonder,
What happens when the last is given away?

Is there anything left to love?
Who could love a flower without petals?
What man would keep a fruitless tree?

When love is free,
Who’s left to fight for?
Why bother waiting
When life is nothing more than instant gratification.

We live in the moment,
So we can die in the next.
What for?
Just a hint of truth?

What if the truth isn’t what we want to hear?
Effortlessly we tune to another station
It has become too easy,
To run,
To hide.

Stop playing with the dial
The truth is here,
The truth is now.

Stop throwing love around,
It is not just another four letter word,
It is far from an everyday feeling.

Guard yourself
Save something for tomorrow
Before there is nothing left to love.

Push past the fear (revised)

2009-10-08T23:24:00.002-07:00

It’s time to push past the fear
And hold back the tears
While we look for the day
When we find the truth

The hour we find the connection
Between you and me
The minute we find the rose in a pile of thorns
The second we find the smile hidden in the shadows

Whether you are tall or short,
Black or white,
There is really no difference,

We are all looking for
The light in the darkness
The music in our silent world

We are all searching for something to hold us together
But only finding ways to drive us apart

We connect by disconnecting
Mechanically decaying from the inside out

We leave our mark
By marking those around us

We strive for a beauty beyond words
Only to end up destroy the beauty around us

We live by watching the lives of others
Leaving us with a disillusioned reality
No longer able to tell the difference
Between whom we think we are,
And the person within

We are nothing more than
A bunch of souls
Broken and searching
Searching for something more
Something real
Something to hold in our trembling hands

But the thought of something greater
Is so out of reach
So out of sight
In the back of our minds
Dusty and unused
Forgotten and trampled
Like our childhood dreams

Have we forgotten what means to be alive?
Have we surrendered to mere existence?

No one chooses to be blind
So why do we refuse to see?

It’s time to push past the fear
And hold back the tears
And look for the day
When we find the truth

Look in the mirror

2009-10-08T23:24:00.001-07:00

Today came and ended
As fast a spark of fire
In a field of fog
It did not come without its surprises

I met a girl today
She had much to share
With no words
She gave her story

She was the girl in the mirror
She held her head up high
While looking around
To see who was in the room,

I watched from a distance
My presence was left unknown

I watched as she pulled out a knife
Lifted her purple sleeve
And made a cut
She winced in pain
Her tears made puddles on the counter surrounding her

She looked so perfect
So gentle and fair
Why did she hurt herself?
I wondered in disbelief

She was to be the prom queen
She had everything
That one could only begin to dream of

Such beauty
Came at a price
The price was the mask she wore
Hiding the pain
Holding back the tears
Walking in fear
Of being alone

This girl in the mirror
Knew none of what I saw
To myself I will keep
This experience I will never share

I wondered who she was
Deep inside
She was obviously hiding
No one really knew
This secret that she bared

For years and years
Nobody really knew
4 years have gone by
Since that day
I met the girl

Something has changed
Something is different
She looks happy
So peaceful and sweet
Everyone around is swimming in her charismatic joy
If only they knew about that day
I met the girl in the mirror.

Better man

2009-10-08T23:21:00.000-07:00

I wish you were a better man,

So I could hold on to our precious moments

Just like the other girls.

I wish I could look forward,

To the day, you walk me down the aisle.

Hating you like this hurts

It hurts when I fall

And there’s no one there to help me up

I walk through this evil world

Without your guiding strength

It’s slowly eating away at my soul,

Killing my innocence

And starving my smile.

Each time I cannot smile

I give my body

For love,

A father’s love

I’m dying to be daddy’s little girl

I wonder every day

If my father up above

Is just like you

Never there

Never listening,

I wish you were a better man

I wish I could be daddy’s little girl.

Summer Boy

2008-01-07T22:34:00.001-08:00

He was the first boy to steal my heart
He was my first kiss
And my first broken heart

He was a boy from the 90’s
With a piercing in his left ear
Wind blowing in his hair
Summers ago we watched the clouds
Swam in his pool playing childish games

It was just a game
All fun and tame
Until that rainy day in May
I’m getting too old to just play
Were simply his last words

He had this way about him
Laughing about everything
Smiling like it was all okay
Nothing mattered but him and his ego

Until he got a flat tire
Sitting on the side of the road
Wanting to play games
He chased me with a smile
Forgetting the pain from our past
He wanted to have some fun

Gently I whispered
It’s over now
It’s too late to play games
It’s nothing but a distant memory

He lost his chance
It’s all in the past
He lost her for the last time
That day two years ago in May.

Goodbye

2008-01-07T21:54:00.000-08:00

Its time to say goodbye
To the broken promises
And broken dreams

Its time to say goodbye
To your silly smile
And your foolish games

Its time to say goodbye
To all the times you left me wondering
All the times you left me waiting in the pouring rain

It’s the end of you and me
You knew this day would come
Stop lying to yourself
There's no going back

All the feelings that we lacked
Breaking in the day
Killing in the night
There’s no denying

There was something there
Way back when
You used to care
It feels like it never happened
Like it was all made up
Just in my mind

We were just kids
Falling in love
There’s a reason they call it falling
Its was so innocent and pure
But we didn’t realize

It’s not the cure
Not even the way
It won’t ever work out
Between you and I

Its time to say goodbye
To what we used to be
Its time to say goodbye
To what could have been.

2007-10-28T20:17:00.000-07:00

Push past the fear
Hold back the tears
Look for the day
When we find what’s right
The hour we find the difference
Between you and I
The minute we find the smile hidden in the darkness
The rose in a pile of thorns
Rips in our jeans
Dirt under our nails
We are all looking for
The light in the darkness
The music in our silent world
So what’s the difference
Two souls broken and searching
For something more
Something real to hold in our trembling hands
So out of reach
And out of sight
In the back of our minds
Dusty and unused
Is the thought of something greater
Forgotten and trampled
Like our childhood dreams

Love is...

2007-09-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

Everybody is looking for that someone
To be there
And hold them till the end of time
It’s the missing piece
In our brokenness
It’s what's right when we go wrong
It’s what holds us together
When all else fails
It’s what breaks us
And makes us strong
Its makes us smile
On those rainy days
And makes us laugh
When we want to cry
Love is what we all live for
Day after day
Night after night
Just the thought of it makes me weak in the knees
And those three little words
Make me melt away.

Draw the line

2007-09-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

Confused and twisted
All alone I feel
Like there’s nothing in this world that matters
Pulled into darkness
Masked deny
Following the scent of thrill
Living in the moment
Dying in the next
It’s a spinning top
With alluring colors
And icy deceit
Drinking to numb this feeling
Smoking to make it all disappear
What in this place is right?
Does wrong even matter?
Living a double life
This whole in my heart can’t be filled
Everyone speaks of the one
The one to fill the hole
To make me live again
I’m filled but I feel just as empty as when I began
Maybe this is all a game
A story in some child’s mind
Or maybe I’m all alone in this place
The only one to fail
The only one to feel so alone and empty
What if this is just a joke?
What’s next in this world of lies?
Where’s the next knife coming from?
Who will be the next to be hurt and broken?
My life is a pile of broken glass
That’s been kicked around
And stomped on
Broken even further
What’s the point?
There’s nobody out there to pick up the pieces
Just to break them
And to take my hand
Then steal my heart
And smash it in my face
I’m tired of all the lies
Games and broken dreams
I’m going to find something that’s REAL
even if it kills me.

Untitled:.

2007-09-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

You’ve got the fire burning
In every inch of my body
Every time you move
I feel it in my innermost being
Every word you have ever said
It all comes back to me
The first time we kissed
The time we danced under the stars
Every moment I’ve held on to
It all comes back to me
My body is screaming for more
It’s all about you
No one else could fill this void
So deep inside of me
You seem so distracted
As if I’m only on the sidelines
So distant and far
Your mind is racing
Don’t leave me here
In this place of peace
All the love that you showed
Was all just a game
One goal in mind
A piece of me nobody ever had
You stole it from me
All those times we shared
Was it all just a lie?
It all comes back to me
Everything’s so out of control
I’m losing focus
It’s so out of control
This can’t be real
Just remember the times we shared
Walking on the beach
Watching the sunset
You told me you loved me
You told me you cared
But now you’re just letting go
You thought I’d understand
I’m torn and broken to pieces
I can’t deny
I’m still in love with you
My body and mind are overwhelmed with thoughts of you
I still long for you
Your touch, your smile
But now you’re so far away
Your nothing more than a memory
Maybe there is no knight in shining armor
Maybe there is no happily ever after
You stole my innocence
And didn’t even take the time to care
You don’t deserve anything
You made my sky fall
You caused my light to burn out
It’s all your fault
I’ll never have a happy ending.

Let the Light Shine

2007-09-30T21:41:00.000-07:00

She walked into the room
Full of beauty and grace
She was a bright light
In her world of darkness
Nobody knew the truth
No one saw through the mask
She was living a lie
Truth be told
She was breaking
Losing the light
No longer wanting to fight
Just like that a life was lost
She left the world that Saturday night
A part of our souls went with her
The mask has defeated her
The darkness overcame the light
Before she left
She did one last thing
She left her mark in this world
In the bathroom stall next to mine
Simply were the words written
Let the light shine.